"I'm all about taking one for the team, but how is me gaining ten pounds going to help Steph's boobs?" -Angela

"They bonged my fish! After I specifically said 'Don't bong my fish!'" -Donna

"That is one big ball." -Jeanette

"Kevin, please take me with you when you go." -Ray to Kevin when Jill and Curtis start fighting in the Superstore in Halifax.

"The only time I like stop lights is when I have a Mcflurry." -Angela

"Katie, if you had an Easy-Bake Oven, you'd be useful." -Curtis

"You've had your cake and eaten it too for too long. Now it's all gone." -Angela on my personal life.

"Bayer's Lake is far, but not too far for Mama Burgers." -Sheldon

"Curtis, if you call decorum on me then I will call decorum on you whenever you act like a 50 year old." -Ray to Curtis after being called on 3 times.

"Why don't my clothes come when I call them?" -Angela

"Keepin' it real with a whole lot of veal." -Darren

"One time I was so drunk that I threw up in my own underwear." -Tiff

"The 10 year olds read Teen Beat. The 13 year olds read Seventeen. The 17 year olds read Cosmo. Then you get to university and realize that you should have been reading Maxim this whole time." -Jeanette

"It just seems that running isn't something that should be done naked." -Colin

"You're wrists are so small Ange. I wonder how you carry things sometimes." -Kevin

"Are you sure that's the cheescake blizzard? It doesn't look like it does in the picture." -Stephanie
"Poor Stephanie. Always dissapointed when she judges based on looks." -Angela

"Jill, I'm sorry you had to see that." -Ray after flossing his ass with Curtis's pillow.

"Gandalf would be able to bust his way outta that. You can't hold him down." -An Anonymous LOTR fan

"People alwayas pee on slides. You always gotta let a few kids go down it before you do." -Jeanette

"You MBA people sure know how to drink." -Donald
"More like we LIKE to drink. We don't really know how." -Angela

"Ok. I can't handle the country music. I will throw myself from the car." -Jill

"I wish Milo could talk. I bet if he could he'd tell every single one of us to go fuck ourselves." -Donna

"Hey Tiff, have you ever considered having sex with a guy for procreation purposes?" -Tamara
"No, but then again I never thought I'd consider having sex with a turkey baster either." -Tiff

"I don't want to sound ignorant but what is Dalai Lama?" -Curtis

"Grab the bull by the horns and just do it!" -Angela

"Everytime you insult Guns 'n Roses, god gives a boy band a record contract." -Colin

"I'm just seeing if Ray is still awake." -Curtis nearly hitting a ditch on the highway to Antigonish

"Curtis, you're a little bit too far to the left for my liking." -Ray's political inuendo response.

"An-tig-on-ish RCMP." -Jill to the Canada 411 operator after SMU stole the wheel off the car.

"If you dare take pictures of this, I'll smash your fucking camera into the sidewalk. You've really pissed me off." -Kevin to incoming SMUSA VP External while changing the car tire.

"Did you guys have to have an executive meeting to think up this stunt." -Kevin to SMUSA executive
"No, they held a referendum." -Jill

"We're not here for the weed, we just want the music turned down." -Halifax Po-lice

"I'm finally getting the Garfield strip delivered to my e-mail everyday now. I know, I'm a nerd." -Stephanie on MSN
"Wrong person I think..... Oh, maybe not. ....... just not sure why you would think that you have to clarify with me that you are a nerd." -Angela

"As human to human, do not put anymore beer in front of me." -Jill

"Only at SMU do they give their students the option to leave a building that has a propane leak in it." -Matt

"Everyday for lunch at work I get donuts from Tim Horton's." -Gray
"Dude, that's unhealthy. You know you can get a sandwich at Tim Horton's." -Stephanie
"Yea, but sandwiches don't have choclate on them." -Gray
"Ange, back me up here." -Stephanie
"I'm eating donuts. I can't really say much right now." -Angela

"Why do they call it The Palace when it looks like a run-down warehouse? Why don't they just call it The Run-Down Warehouse?" -Vanessa

"What are you thankful for Greg?" -Dave on Thanksgiving
"He's thankful for that 6 gram gagger we're rolling up after supper." -Ryan

"Oh, by the way, that gun on the couch over there ... is loaded ... so watch out." -Jon

"It's burnin' like a dream! Keep lightin' it though." -Ryan

"You'd date me wouldn't you?" -Stephanie
"I'd run the other way. But that's because I know you." -Angela

"John A. MacDonald was a pretty good looking guy in his day." -Jenn

"They must be 16 years old Steph. They can't even grow facial hair yet." -Jeanette
"That's OK, I don't like facial hair anyways." -Stephanie

"Don't look at me man. I'm just a guy with a beer hat." -J-Dubb

"I can believe Ryan Reynolds is marrying Alanis Morisette." -Stephanie
"I can't belive Alanis Morisette is marrying a guy." -Angela

"I've got Connect Four locked down like a mother fucker." -Jay

"Ask them if they have a bucket of Twisters. 'Cause if they got it, we want it." -Ryan on ordering KFC

"I'd hate to be greedy while exploiting my friends for profit." -Jon

"My friend loves you." -Random girl at the bar
"Yeah I can tell it's true love by the skanky way she's grinding on me." -J-Dubb

"I'm an international incident waiting to happen." -Matt on going to the Dominican

"Roll Up The Rim is pissing me off big time." -Tara

"How else am I gonna find out which Yankees are on drugs today?" -Jason on reading the newspaper daily

"Your hair should have its own show on MTV, Crimp My Ride." -J-Dubb

"Who learns 'Big Pimpin' and 'Dirt Off Your Shoulder' on guitar? This guy!" -J-Dubb

"According to Olivier, my meat feels good." -J-Dubb

"Of course the Superstore has umbrellas. They have everything. They're super! -Andrea

"The raspberry shot just fell out of the fridge. It clearly wants me to drink it. Look! The other one fell out too! Listen. They're both saying "Drink me please." -Andrea

"My hat is in the freezer, so don't be alarmed." -Andrea

"Amature video is my favorite kind of video." -Jay

"Student poverty is the new black." -Jen

"Do you know what the biggest industry is in PEI?" -Guy in a skilled trades commercial
"Is moving away from the province an industry?" -Vanessa

"Just to let you guys know, I'm not getting an entree that comes with free salad and bread, but I will be eating some of yours." -Andrea

"Homeless people must love rummaging through trash during Thanksgiving." -Chris

"Chris, what happens if the Gazette gets accused of racism?" -Li
"We put your head on the cover." -Chris

"I find I'd be pretty pissed too if someone stole my gold." -Donna on evil Leprechauns

"Im eating a pizza, and an olive just fell off onto my keyboard on the 'O' and 'L' keys. Like it was trying to spell its own name!"-Chris

"I'm gonna get a movie tonight." -Andrea
"I thought you and Chris were gonna play Crib. -Stephanie
"Yea, but I'm gonna whoop his ass. That won't take long." -Andrea

"I have to go home and get a shower." -Chris
"What's wrong with my shower? Is it too sissy for you?" -Stephanie
"There's too many candles and girly products. I'm scared I'd be tempted to use them." -Chris

"Coming up next we'll be talking with someone who is very close to former President Jimmy Carter." -Larry King
"The Grim Reaper is going to be on Larry King?" -Chris

"I just had a dream I was fighting orcs in battle and was winning." -Stephanie
"I just had one where I was having sex with four woman at once." -Chris
"Mine's better." -Stephanie

"FYI, I wasnt looking at baby stuff at Shopper's for us... I thought I saw rubber duckies for the bathtub, but I was mistaken." -Chris on me noticing him lingering in the baby products aisle a little too long at Shopper's.

"I hope I have a sex dream tonight. I love that sh**." -Jonathan

"One day your blog will tug on the wrong string of the US government and one of these nights a US agent will break in and murder you, and then murder me for witnessing the previous murder of you. -Chris

"So, you're a law student. Then I'll get you to sign the COMPREHENSIVE consent form." -Ian's surgeon

"Something smells like puke. -Stephanie
"It's my new deoderant. REALLY Old Spice." -Chris

"Relating sexual situations to contract case law is my forte." -Li

"I'm not being cranky. I'm being sarcastic." -Lisa

"If you say "law school" really fast it sounds like you're saying "law is cool," which is totally misleading." -Li

"I find that street life is very much akin to prison and a cigarette is as good as currency." -Mike on not feeling bad about giving a squidgie kid a cigarette instead of money.